Wednesday, July 30, 2008

ZOMGZ, I GO TO TEH GYMZZz!!1!one

Finally enrolled at an okayish gym out here in bengalooru, enrolled a few months back but since I don't give too much importance to people who read this, lets just pretend that I've just joined the damn place.

Now a gym is an excellent place to observe stupid people in all their OMFG-theres-a-rat-in-my ass-HAALP! glory.. You'll find every sort of cretin imaginable inside a gym (me included). Theres the thin, geeky kid who pulls off 50 reps with 2 kilo weights in the vain hope that he'll finally beat the school bully.. there's the fat lady who thinks she'll get thin after 15 minutes on the treadmill and right after gym, goes and chokes down a fvking barrel of sweet corn mixed with butter and whale blubber.

But the best of all of these dude(ettes) is the retarded techie, geek who comes in and expects to become HUGE like Schwarzenegger. This brand of retard will gorge on every brand of supplement, steroid, BCAA tablet, Multi-vitamin known to man and then crib how hard it is to build a nice mucular body. Too bad the idiot doesn't get in half the food hes supposed to be eating.

Now, a gym is obviously an awesome place to see retards...(check one out if you don't believe me)..I'll get around to putting up a new post once I re-remember I had a blog (maybe around 5 months aagey).

Tab tak, gut bye.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Blogs suck !

Hello biraders. Allow me to introduce myself. Meesa name is Ranvijay Singh, I live in Bengalooru, study in Christ college and am pursuing a course that will make me another minion of the slave army hired by demonic corporations that would'nt care if I died the very next day.

Now I have a lot of free time on my hands and I have a lot of thoughts in my head so I thought of putting them up in a ridiculous little journal so that when I grow old and get screwed in the head, at least I'll remember how god fvking awesome I once used to be.

My first topic for the day would be the very thing you're viewing - BLOGS. Blogs are everywhere. Like freakin cockroaches. Every idiot who has a myspace or a facebook account feels that he owes a debt to society which can be repaid only by putting up his retarded, completely moronic, biased views on some shitty little website.

People who generally create blogs can be classified as -

1) Emo faggots - These are the idiots who lament about their life being a bitch and their souls being tortured while they type out of their fancy little macbooks gifted to them by their idiot parents. Since the kids are alone often they find new ways to entertain themselves by being "Anti-social".

Anti-social according to an emo idiot means -

a) Black nailpolish
b) Names carved onto their wrists of girlfriends/boyfriends, both imaginary and real.
c) looking up to other ridiculous religions like druidic vampirism, wicca, asshole satanism...hell, anything with satan in it, emos gotta love. Cause theres nothing more anti-social than satan and Che Guevara.

2) Mac book owners - Are generally rich, spoilt brats who got a paid seat in some good university. They're wannabe hippies and can usually be spotted browsing away at your nearest overpaid coffee outlet. They have an opinion on everything (which is seldom right), think that
they're part of some imaginary mac community.

Recent reports indicate that a sample survey of 200 macbook users, 198 had low self esteem and 199 were molested as children. If you want the source, here it is, www.shutthefuckup.com .

3) Media idiots - These are generally idiots with nothing more than a degree in English. Are expected to report on stories that affect the common man but think its more convenient to have a 6 hour special on re-running scripts of Mika kissing Rakhi Sawant.

For an example of a media idiot, turn on Aaj tak, India TV and headlines today.

These morons visit blogs and actually use them as a source of information. So in case one of you is watching, OMGZZ, I sAw Teh YetI in SG PalYa!?1!!11 HELZPZZZ!1!!oen


Now, I've typed that stuff out in under 15 minutes and conjured the shit up right out of thin air so excuse the spelling errors (if there are any). If you disagree with anything I've stated above, You suck. If you think I'm not funny, You suck. If you think there are more users of blogs, you suck. If you think you're smarter than me, wait for it, you suck.

Since I have loads of free time, expect frequent updates. And who knows, one of these days I might get drunk and surprise you all with some pseudo-cool quotes which you can tell your children.